In an already crowded field of GOP Presidential contenders, a surprising new entry has drawn considerable attention.
This Jar of Dead Earwigs, most recently know for being creepy and sometimes voracious garden pests, have been contacted by God. "If it were up to us," the Jar of Dead Earwigs said in their press conference early this morning, "we would just decompose, feeding the earth with our bodies. But God -- who is a straight white human male with a beautiful head of hair, by the way -- made it clear that He wanted us to govern the world's most powerful military nation. We are just a bunch of dead earwigs; who are we to question the will of God?"
The GOP reaction to this announcement below the fold!
